Birthing A Better World

Roma Norriss: Doula & Breastfeeding Counsellor ~ Bath & Somerset ~ 07919 896 901

General Breastfeeding Info:

This is a really excellent blog on breastfeeding and early parenting, if you search through you will probably find information on most things you’d want to know about. You can also join their facebook group and post questions to be answered quickly
http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/ I particularly like her message to expectant parents http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2012/01/message-for-expectantnew-parents.html
Also some useful info sheets from renowned breastfeeding expert and paediatrician, Jack Newman
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=information

And his videos of babies feeding effectively and not effectively are useful:

http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

Kelly Mom is a great site for all breastfeeding info

http://kellymom.com/

Here is the leaflet on alcohol, drugs and medications while breastfeeding (Please also see below for the Drugs in Breastmilk Helpline)

http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/BfN_how_safe_is_leaflet_2009.pdf

 

Positioning and Attachment:

If you like the concept of the laid back approach we discussed, there is more info in this great Aussie vid:

Also find more on this website:

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/assets/what_is_BN_sheet_lr_A5.pdf
http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/

For some really good images of babies latching onto the breast in more traditional AND Biological Nurturing ways I would recommend this video if your midwife has not already given you it on Dvd http://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/our-films/fbbdb8b2-4027-4fb8-a05f-dbca1329680c

Breastfeeding twins with some diagrams of positions

http://abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/breastfeeding-twins/

The exaggerated latch or “flipple” technique demonstrated by a mother, can be useful for babies who have difficulty achieving a deeper latch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGttPTx7iSs

 

Breastfeeding Challenges:

For mothers with engorgement, a description of the “Reverse pressure softening” technique, which helps make engorged breasts easier for baby to latch onto

http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/rev_pressure_soft_cotterman/

BfN (Breastfeeding Network) has some great leaflets, this one on mastitis

http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/BFN_Mastitis.pdf

This on thrush

http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/dibm/Thrush_and_Breastfeeding_Feb_2013.pdf

And this one to help diagnosis of nipple/breast pain

http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/Differential_Diagnosis_of_Nipple_Pain_March_2009.pdf

What the signs of tongue tie might look like

http://milkmatters.org.uk/2011/04/15/hidden-cause-of-feeding-problems-however-you-feed-your-baby/

Some info about how “colic” can be related to breastfeeding issues

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2005/mar/30/familyandrelationships.healthandwellbeing

And this is a great article that clarifies some of the misinformation around “foremilk” and “hindmilk”

http://normalafterall.com/2013/02/18/in-search-of-the-elusive-hind-milk/

This article contains a technique for bottle feeding as a transition to breastfeeding in cases where the baby does not latch, which is not evidence based but may be helpful:

http://www.bfsupportservices.com/downloads/bottle-feeding_article.pdf

 

Expressing:

Here is the Which review of different kinds of breast pumps

http://www.which.co.uk/baby-and-child/nursery-and-feeding/guides/choosing-a-breast-pump/

Also this NHS page, which includes breastmilk storage guidelines http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/expressing-storing-breast-milk.aspx

International mother to mother milk sharing network in case you are interested in finding donor milk

http://www.hm4hb.net/

 

Parenting:

This is a useful pdf about calming your crying baby http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2013/01/26/10358548/simple%20ways%20to%20calm%20a%20crying%20baby.pdf

Here’s a link to some of the current research on sleeping with your baby
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html

And the Unicef research

http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Bed-sharing-and-infant-sleep/

Great info on carrying your baby in a carrier

http://www.bobafamily.com/blog/2011/10/11/nine-reasons-not-to-carry-your-baby-facing-out/

Nighttime breastfeeding and mental health

http://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Breastfeeding/nighttime-breastfeedinghow-does-it-affect-maternal-mental-health.html

 

Inspiration:

The Unicef breast crawl video:

And another beautiful version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9WtH4dq-cw

 

Kangaroo Mother Care; one mother’s amazing story of how skin to skin saved her premature baby

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/08/mothers-last-skin-to-skin-goodbye-saves.htmlhttp:

Interesting blog article on how little we know about the amazingness of breastfeeding

http://www.slate.com/blogs/how_babies_work/2013/03/20/the_science_of_breast_milk_latest_research_on_nursing_and_milk_vs_formula.html

The impact of breastfeeding on a mother’s brain:

http://www.thealphaparent.com/2014/06/how-breastfeeding-changes-your-brain.html

And DADS this one is specially for you!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQOqChZ_ZeA

This is just lovely, makes me cry!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPwyqEXBDPI

 

Local Breastfeeding Counsellors (see further below for groups)

 

Bath:

National Childbirth Trust (NCT)-
Catherine 01225 317 997 – BA1
Heather 01225 424471 – BA2

 

La Leche League (LLL)

Mara 01225 339023

Helen 01225 317631

Shannon at lllshannon@icloud.com

 

Breastfeeding Support Groups:

Fri 1-3pm Bumps, Babies and Toddlers, Percy Community Centre, New King Street, Bath. term time only.

Tue 1-3pm NCT Baby Cafe at New Oriel Hall, Larkhall, Bath

2nd Tue of each month 10.15-12pm La Leche League meetings at mothers’ homes around Bath. Contact Mara/Helen/Shannon for details (or search Bath La Leche League on facebook)

 

Bradford on Avon:

Mon 1.30-3pm Bradford On Avon Children’s Centre, Fitzmaurice School Site, Frome Road, Bradford on Avon, BA15 1LE supported by Peer Supporters (mums who have undergone a brief training):

 

Bristol:

For an up to date list check out https://www.bristol.gov.uk/documents/20182/32995/Bristol+Breastfeeding+Support+groups/7e09538a-3d4f-4841-9d9b-b9db8fca5524

 

Calne:

Baby Buddies Calne Children’s Centre

Prince Charles Drive

Calne, Wilts

SN11 8PF

Thursdays 10-11.30am

 

Chippenham:

Spring Rise Children’s Centre

01249 464008

Mondays 1-2.45pm

Buttercup Babies

Station Hill Baptist Church

Chippenham SN15 1EG

01249 463040

Wednesdays 10-11.30am

Get in Touch

New sibling jealousy

“Help! My daughter is 2.5 years old and does not listen at all, she now has a little brother which she is jealous of. Sometimes her behaviour is out of control. What can I do?”   Ah bless you, this sounds very normal to me and so challenging for you when you are trying to meet the needs of a new baby. It’s very common for children to become a bit ‘wild’ when a new sibling comes along. Some children will be aggressive towards the baby; ‘accidentally’ squeezing too hard or being passive aggressive.  Some children will be loving towards the baby but become difficult in another area. Your sweet girl isn’t trying to make life hard and when she doesn’t listen it’s because her brain chemistry means she literally CAN’T hear you. You’ve probably noticed how children are sometimes naturally co-operative, kind and flexible. This happens when they feel connected to us, they feel our attention and warmth in a way that feels like we ‘get’ them. Often our attention gets unavoidably interrupted, causing small breaks in connection and our child’s upset feelings about that accumulate. And sometimes things happen in the family to create a bigger break in connection. Maybe one parent goes away on a trip, or you move house or get ill. Having a new sibling is a bigger break in connection. The unconscious, emotional part of the brain registers it as a threat. It questions if there will be enough love and attention to go around. With bigger breaks in connection, sometimes your child can’t feel your warmth and attention even when you are... read more

Cuts, bumps & scrapes

My daughter was playing with a gaggle of kids the other day and they decided it would be fun to all pile into our small sauna. In the scuffle, one of the other kids was closing the door and accidentally caught her finger quite badly. On hearing her shriek, I ran and lifted her out. She was screaming, very distressed and for a while I didn’t know what had happened so I took her to sit down and just held her. I could see she was holding up her finger and that it was squashed and bleeding. She was besides herself with heavy sobs and wailing and I just said simply “Your finger got trapped” as she heaved and tried to tell me the story. I stayed close as she shuddered and shrieked and told fragments of the story and just offered simple observations such as “That really hurts, your finger got caught” and letting her know “I’m with you, I’m so sorry that happened.” After about 10 minutes her crying started to die down and I suggested “Shall we have another look?” She looked again at her finger and once more started bawling. I wanted to help her stay with the feelings of upset so she could release them fully from her system and recover from this mishap. I continued encouraging her to keep looking at the finger and crying more. When children cry after small bumps, the intensity of emotion can often feel disproportionate to the level of injury. We tend to want to appease them with plasters or medicines or stop them crying through reassurance that... read more
Sometimes children seem to be so unreasonable, don’t they? They lose it over the most insignificant of things, such as which coloured cup you give them, or which flavour ice lolly they got. And it’s hard not to find that immensely frustrating when you are doing your best to be kind and help their lives go well. You did everything right and they are having a huge meltdown about nothing. Except, one thing you can guarantee is that it is never about nothing. We sometimes refer to this at Hand in Hand as the ‘broken cookie situation’; you give your child a cookie and the corner has broken. They scream and scream that they wanted a ‘whole one’ and refuse to eat the broken one, even if it’s the last in the pack. We see it that there is actually some wisdom in this. When humans are in optimal emotional health, we make use of the body’s inbuilt, self-mending mechanism; we release hurt, stress and tension through emotional release like laughter, crying and raging or trembling. By adulthood, most of us have inhibited this response after being shushed, or scolded from babyhood when we went into emotional release. We hold back tears, we stifle laughter, we try to stay calm when we are angry. But children tend to have their emotional release mechanism in full working order and make really good use of a small pretext like a broken cookie, to offload some stored up feelings. I recently had a ‘broken cookie’ moment myself and it has given me a greater understanding of how it feels for a child... read more

The rescue we all need sometimes

This scene is the aftermath of deep emotional work. Where all the lights… and eyes, were on me. An experience unparalleled except for in ceremonies where all my people showed up just for me – like our wedding or my beautiful blessingways. I have shared a fair bit on Facebook about how I have recently been going through an intensely emotional time. I have had to face several really hard things this year, culminating in an excruciating situation which triggered two core hurts from childhood. This pain I had spent my whole life avoiding finally found a way out in the shape of a breakdown where I spent four months unable to do much beyond feeling, shaking, crying, raging. I was deeply distressed most of the time, waking each night for several hours distraught, frozen in angst and horror. I was exhausted and out of my mind. My capacity to think has been very much inhibited, as well as my ability to parent or hold space. I have leaned on my community a lot. My listening partners have held me through this with such presence, patience, love and dedication. And somehow through the shame of being so needy, broken and unable to give back and feeling that this was all my own fault and I deserved it, I knew I needed to ask for even more. So I rallied my listening partners and asked if they would be willing to perform what Patty Wipfler has developed as a ‘Parent Rescue Squad’. This is where a parent in crisis summons support through one way extensive listening time. An intervention that... read more

Staylistening at Amma

I just took my kids on a slightly wild adventure to see Amma (the ‘hugging saint’) in London. They managed to hold it together throughout the 5 hour car journey, despite being sprung straight from school without any Special Time to top up connection levels. We scraped them through a quick dinner in a cafe, where they were pretty on the edge. They ADORED the Amma program; running about Alexandra Palace, making friends, playing, eating cake, sitting on the stage near Amma. And this went on for many hours. Until one passed out under a table of blessed water at 3.30am and the other was still going strong. I wondered how much more they could hold the crowds, the excitement, the lack of sleep. At 5.30am our tokens were called for ‘darshan’ (our chance to hug Amma). We moved through the queue before deciding to wake Arte up so that she had some time to acclimatise. Having only slept a couple of hours after staying up so late, she was understandably hysterical when I tried to scoop her sleeping body into my lap. And here it came, the tidal outpouring of emotion I had suspected might be on the cards. She threw herself off my lap, onto the ground and I sat by her as she screamed “I’m NOT going!” “You don’t want to go up” I validated and let her know she didn’t need to do anything she didn’t want to. Only she was still upset. “Get away from me! Leave me alone! Go AWAY!” screamed my fiesty 5 year old over and over again. I stayed close,... read more

The job of the Birthkeepers

“The job of the Birthkeepers is to pave the way for the Earthkeepers to come through. Get hooked up to the Earth Mother, connect with your intuition and trust it” Robin Lim Last weekend I returned from Findhorn, to where there was an unusual exodus of birthkeepers for the Healthy Birth Healthy Earth Conference. I had long yearned to visit this fairy founded enigma and once I got beyond the odd appearance of the village with its tarmac road and 70s bungalows, I fell in love with it. The energy was SO bright and I have never felt the unseen realms so strongly in a place. For additional magic factor there were dolphins, sunsets over the hot tub, enchanted gardens where pixies stole my shoe, shooting stars like cartoon rockets and one night, a freak appearance of phosphorescence in the bay. The conference was beautifully organised and held impeccably so that we built deep emotional safety and a collaborative vibe that allowed us all to ‘own it’ – a vital model for the new birthing paradigm. We were saturated with the generous presence of the elders of this field. True luminaries such as Michel Odent, Binnie A Dansby, Ray Castellino, Robie Davis Floyd, Elena Tonnetti-Vladimirova and Robin Grille. And also doulas and lay midwives, who brought indigenous wisdom learned from birthing women and passed down through generations. I was most blown away by Robin Lim and found myself shivering or welling up with her every word and gesture. This incredible woman has set up free midwifery care for women in Ubud, Acheh and in disaster zones and trains 7000 midwives a year.... read more

Healing is messy

Healing is messy. Sometimes it looks like chocolate coconut water on a plate, having snorted it out of your mouth and nose. I’ve not been OK at all recently, (which probably signifies being more OK than I’ve ever been). Ive lost my drive, run aground. In short I’m having a disproportionate reaction to a heartbreak, which is triggering the early trauma of not being met. Coincidentally, trauma they are working on my brain to release daily with the neurofeedback this month. Last weekend I wept and laughed hysterically for four hours. Thankfully two of my best women were with me and knew exactly how to keep me crying; one of the benefits of having trained everyone around me to listen really well. At one point I started speaking nonsense that I really believed at the time. “I shouldn’t be allowed to live in this house, they should keep me in one of those ‘safe houses’ for special people. I should have a warning sign on me” “What would that say” urged my sister “Keep upright. Handle with care.” I wailed. And then I pissed myself laughing and remembered all the times where being horizontal with a certain person recently has got me into this mess. The relevance of being kept upright on loving skin as a baby rather than horizontal in an incubator was not lost on me either. It was an epic release. Snotty tissues piled up. My tearstained tshirt became a beautiful piece of art that my friend Alice dubbed ‘Rainfall on heartache’. We continued with our ritual Sunday pancakes until someone said the words ‘fragile friends’... read more

Help your child prepare for school

We’re really lucky that our daughter is getting the opportunity to start processing her feelings about starting Reception in September each time we drop her brother off at the school. Last week she started crying as we were leaving his classroom under the pretext of wanting me to pick her up. I was unhurried and relaxed in the warm sun and felt able to Staylisten. “I’m not going to pick you up Sweetheart, you can walk just fine.” She wailed that she couldn’t walk, her feet were cold, she needed me to carry her. I gave her my full focus and warmth and said simple things like “You wanted me to carry you.” I was worried the noise might disturb the classroom, so I scooped her into a corner of the playground and sat by her as she flailed and screamed on the ground. She was still crying about her feet being cold. Then she said quietly “Anyway, the teachers in my class aren’t nice.” I love that she was able to now work on the real upset. I responded that it is a big school with lots of new children and teachers and every time I said that it allowed her to sob heartily. She has been really excited and positive about starting this school so I know that these were feelings of fear moving through. She was able to offload all her doubt about not knowing where to go and not knowing the other kids. Then as the feelings died down she needed another pretext to keep offloading about. She became fixated with the play equipment that... read more

When you fall apart you know you’re in the right place

Here’s my daughter getting the Embercombe after party started. Rock N Roll kiddo. We just got back from an inspirational family camp there called ‘Grow the Grownups.’ I returned my kids to their dad filthy, covered in bites, scratches, blisters and bruises, itching, exhausted, sun-kissed and with matted hair, but with their hearts and imaginations swollen by an epic tsunami of love, friendship and connection. Sign of a good week I say. I realise I wasn’t quite prepared for what transpired, having naively anticipated a relaxing, gentle week of play and connection with my kids. I blogged here about the last time I took my kids away for a week and they delivered a textbook version of what we call ‘Spoiled Outing Syndrome.’ This is where you have a special outing or trip with children, lavish them with attention and they respond by screaming the place down. What is really happening is that when you have time to really be present and unhurried with your child, their brain senses the extra emotional safety available and makes use of it to offload feelings about times in their life where things have been harder. The body is a clever self-mending organism, which likes to dump out old hurts and recover its optimal ability to function. Except this time it was me who had the Spoiled Outing Syndrome. I totally melted down for the first couple of days. Finally after holding so much together in my family and for others week after week, I had reached a community of willing supporters, many of whom were highly skilled in listening. At first I... read more

Why does my kid lose it when we are having the loveliest time?

Hi from the beautiful sun drenched Algarve, where I have made an impromptu winter escape with my two kids. They are having a delightful time, splashing in rock pools, running about my aunt’s gorgeous villa, loving each other and… crying a LOT! This afternoon after a sweet morning of Special Time we set out for another adventure at the much adored local beach. Except my daughter did not set out; she stood naked outside the front door refusing to wear clothes, get into her buggy or walk with us. “I’m cold, I’m cold, I won’t go to the beach” she wailed on repeat. I listened “I hear you, I’m sorry you don’t like our plan right now.” And I listened. And about 40 minutes went by, by which point her brother was running out of patience. Now she was howling “I want a different Tshirt” and I was reminding her that the one on offer was just fine. “I’m dying of boredom, I don’t even want to go anymore” now my son was sobbing too. I was fairly under-resourced and getting fed up by this point and vented to no-one in particular “I’m just trying to take you guys for a picnic on the beach, nothing horrible ya know!” And then the penny dropped. Spoiled Outing Syndrome. That is the technical term at Hand in Hand Parenting for this kind of phenomenon where you are having a lovely time and your kid loses it for no apparent reason. And sure enough, the wailing about the Tshirt progressed into a quiet “If Daddy were here, you could take Zephyr to... read more